It can be a life changing decision to seek support as you begin to heal from childhood trauma. It can also invoke feelings of fear, shame, vulnerability, and self-doubt. So, if you are here because you are ready for support despite all the feelings that may be coming to the surface, I want to take a moment and celebrate YOU! This is a big and brave decision and I see you.
Maybe you’re reading this because you’re considering the less traditional modality: coaching. My goal here is to make sure you have all the information you need to make a well-informed and aligned choice for YOU.
It’s important to know that there is a difference between coaching and therapy. Depending on where you’re at in the recovery process, it’s very likely you could benefit from working with a therapist or coach.
Each of us has a story and a journey that is as unique as we are. Sometimes we know exactly where we are going and we can clearly see the path in front of us, and then (because it’s part of the human experience), unexpected events pop up, get in our way, and sometimes derail us. This can cause us to lose our focus, get distracted, or potentially become debilitated.
On the other hand, there are times when we have absolutely no idea what to do or which direction to go. This can cause us to feel stuck, lost, and alone – deeply doubting our ability to get back on our path. Seeking support from a professional can be greatly beneficial in both of these scenarios.
Due to traumatic experiences, some of us have developed mental illnesses that are severe enough to cause some, or all, aspects of our lives to come to a crashing halt. We become stuck, frozen, and incapable of moving through the reaction that our minds and bodies are having to the past or present trauma. Therapists with a high level of expertise and experience with debilitating mental health challenges are best suited for supporting us when, or if, we find ourselves at this stage of the journey.
While a coach cannot direct care, prescribe medication, or make choices for a client like a therapist can, he or she can step in and offer support once a crisis is under control. Coaches walk alongside their clients to help provide information, brainstorm, uncover old patterns and stories, create goals, and hold them accountable to follow through when they are in control of their mental health.
“Therapists are the trauma surgeons, emergency room personnel, and paramedics of the mental health and well-being community. Coaches have a fully stocked first aid kit and skills to put it to good use, but they are not physicians. Coaching clients may be what I call “the walking wounded” but they have to be ambulatory in order to be a good fit for the coaching process.” ~ International Association of Trauma Recovery Coaching
If you are indeed someone who feels like your mental health is stable and under control, then you could benefit from either of these paths. Many trauma survivors may even find themselves working with both or moving between one and then the other depending on where they are at in their process. If someone is working with a coach and begins to experience a mental health crisis, they should quickly transition to a therapist. A good coach will fully support this necessary move.
As a childhood trauma recovery coach, my clients typically come to me aware of their traumatic experiences and either exhausted from trying to heal alone or feeling stuck and unsure of what they can do to get out of the quicksand. I do not work with individuals who are having a mental health crisis or looking for a diagnosis, as this is not within my scope of expertise and knowledge.
I do however work with clients who are in control, yet feel like they are simply getting by or surviving, but not thriving. I help them to connect the dots between their childhood experiences and how they are impairing and hindering their adult life – more often than not, having negative impacts on their interpersonal relationships, work, money, family, and self-worth.
“Complex relational trauma has been described as a deep “violation of human connection.” When a person abuses, betrays, rejects, bullies, neglects, or otherwise mistreats another person, it can lead to complex relational trauma in the victim. The far-reaching impacts of this violation include psychological, emotional, and behavioral impacts as well as extreme difficulty developing strong, healthy relationships.”
One of the most important things to understand is that, as a trauma coach, I’m not here to “fix” you. I don’t have a magic pill or one cookie cutter approach that will magically take all of the pain, anger, frustrations, sadness, and disappointment away. I truly wish I did. What I can help you to gain, if you’re ready and in the right place, is even better than that – EMPOWERMENT. As adults who experienced relational trauma during childhood, we have slowly over our lives become disempowered. We have been taught to feel self-hatred, blame, shame, fear, and self-doubt.
There is no pill on the market that can heal these types of deep-rooted interpersonal traumas. We have to learn how to do what we should have been taught as children – how to love ourselves. This is what I’ve had to do as a survivor and this is what I support my clients to do as a childhood trauma recovery coach.
I can’t express enough how important it is that you take the time to find the right person for you, whether that is a therapist or coach. Because you have experienced interpersonal trauma over a long period of time, finding a coach or therapist who is trauma informed will be instrumental in your healing. It’s ok to meet with multiple coaches and therapists until you find the right one for you. When you find that right person, their goal should be to support your healing and growth while empowering you to find your autonomy. You should feel seen, heard, and validated in your experiences and feelings while helping you to understand your patterns and limiting beliefs due to trauma.
If you are ready for support and still unsure which direction would be best for you, my door is always open, let’s talk.
Are you ready to start connecting the dots between what happened to you and how it’s impacting your adult life? Do you want to gain new tools to harness the power you already have inside of you? Feeling stuck and alone on the journey? I would love to support you. My 1:1 coaching container creates a compassionate, non-judgmental, and safe space that meets you right where you are today. From there we move at a pace that supports your life, goals, and visions for your unique and beautiful future, a future that can look anyway you CHOOSE.
Click here to book your free 1-hour discovery call.
You never know how one conversation could shift the direction of your life.
Lots of love ~ Morgan