Navigating Dating with a Healthy Mindset of Self-Love and Connection

Do you find yourself caught in the cycle of endless online dates, losing sight of why you started this journey in the first place? Has dating turned into a laborious task rather than an enjoyable experience? If so, it's time to shift your perspective and approach dating with a healthy mindset.

I can relate to the point where I almost lost count of my dates, all in pursuit of finding "THE ONE." The pressure I put on myself turned dating into a chore, draining the fun out of it entirely.

Perhaps you, too, have found yourself spending countless hours complaining about bad dates, collecting stories for a future book on online dating. At some point, I even contemplated giving up on dating altogether, convinced that nobody in my city was serious about getting serious.

But what if the key to transforming your dating life lies in changing the narrative you tell yourself?

I vividly recall a conversation with a friend who had recently moved to Portland. Instead of sharing horror stories, she surprised me with an unexpected response, "I'm really having a lot of fun meeting new people and exploring the city. I'm just enjoying all the new connections." This revelation was a gift that snapped me out of my negative dating narrative.

She demonstrated that by approaching each date with curiosity and ease, without being fixated on finding "THE ONE," she created space for genuine connections. Without the pressure of an end goal, she navigated the dating scene with self-love, identifying red flags, embracing opportunities for friendship, and being true to her own feelings.

That conversation prompted me to reevaluate my approach. I realized that self-love was missing from my dating equation, overshadowed by my attachment to a specific outcome.

From that moment forward, I made self-love the focal point of my dating life, abandoning the idea that dating was a job.

So, what's your dating story?

Have you convinced yourself that all the good ones are taken? That your standards are too high? That dating is inherently difficult? Are you more invested in the outcome of a date than the experience itself?

Here's a truth that might ruffle some feathers, but it's essential: These stories are BULLSHIT! (Said with all the love in the world.)

The good ones are NOT all taken. Your standards are NOT too high. You're NOT destined to be the perpetually single aunt.

These are just stories, stories you choose to tell yourself.

I get it because I've been there too.

But here's the empowering reality: You can dump your story right now and CHOOSE a new one.

You can decide that dating is fun. That it's a fantastic way to meet new people and build connections. You can release the pressure and enjoy the human-to-human experience.

Your dating life doesn't have to feel like a job.

Shift your mindset, see your dating journey as a beautiful and powerful form of self-love, not as a mission to find "THE ONE."

You are just one mindset shift away from the love, intimacy, and connection you truly desire.